My Achy Breaky Heart

Question: I'm 42 years old and I hadn't been in a relationship since my divorce and I finally thought I had found "the one", until she broke my heart after a year of dating. How do I move on?

Break ups are never easy especially if you thought they were "the one". I’m sure you're at the point where you're not in a relationship just to be "in a relationship". At this point in your life a man in his thirties and forties is typically ready to settle down and done playing "games". (At least most are). So when you meet that special person and everything is going great then she breaks your heart. That's just the ultimate. Right? Wrong. Try to think about all the positives as soon as you know the relationship is truly over. At least you didn't marry her. Right?
Of course what you first need to do is cry. Cry, Cry and Cry and let it all out.
Then enlist family and friends for support. What I would suggest is to call your single buddies, let them take you out and if that’s not your thing, maybe join some extracurricular activities in your community such as coed bowling, softball or volleyball. Summer time is coming out, so how about join a gym. OR how about plan a trip with friends, family and/or children. Whatever you decide to do, just keep BUSY!!! You need that .............for now. As time goes on (because we all know you can't get over a broken heart in a day) you can choose whether or not you want to go out or just chill at home and veg out. Order pizza and rent a movie at home. Or you can have people over. Also every morning make it a habit to make a "to do" list so you know you have things to do before and after work that will keep your mind occupied.
Now I’m not saying you're not going to think about her, however you might not think of her as much and as time goes on and you continue to occupy yourself with friends, family and activities you'll think of her less and less. All of this goes for the ladies as well. And maybe go on a date or two just to get back in the game and have some fun. Always be honest with the other person if you're not ready to move forward and you're just out to have fun.
Again, this healing process, may take a lot of time, but you will definitely heal faster by keeping busy and not staying home crying.

Letting go of someone dear to you is hard, but holding on to someone who doesn't even feel the same is much harder. Giving up doesn't mean you are weak! It only means that you are strong enough to let go! ~ Author Unknown
Relationships are like glass. Sometimes it's better to leave them broken than try to hurt yourself putting it back together. - Anonymous

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California Gurl no longer sees Fireworks?

Is three months too soon for couples therapy? I think not! Although representatives for both Katy and Russell Brand deny reports of them attending couples therapy after three months, I still choose to blog about this relationship.
So here you have your typical "Hollywood" couple, ROCK STAR  meets ACTOR. Let's remember Hollywood years are like dog years, 1 year of being married in Hollywood is like 7 years in non-Hollywood. So seeking therapy after 3 months is normal. Right? The first year is always the hardest year, learning to adjust to the whole "we're OFFICIALLY TOGETHER on paper now".  It can be a little intimidating, but if you really love each other, then it's TOTALLY worth it.
For any marriage to work, it takes commitment, sacrifice and communication and love and I think in order for this to work (which I USUALLY hope that it does) they should definitely go to therapy and have the therapist help them out before they and make typical Hollywood mistakes, and then divorce.
NOW-Katy Perry is about to go on Tour while Russell brand will be filming his new movie which means there be lots of time apart from each other. From my Research Katy has set time out in between her tour to be able get away and go spend time with her Honey. YAY! This is very important as well as the communication. Hopefully they have the technology to be able to communicate on a daily basis via, text, phone call and video chat with each other (with all their money, they better have all of that)
My advice to anyone in this situation (which is all of us right? he he) is go to the therapy, follow the therapists advice, have a game plan of how they will see each other and communicate with each other when they are away. This helps also the other person feel secure in their relationship and lets the other person know, "hey even though we're apart, I'm still with ya"! TRUTH! If they stick to this and hopefully they do, then the marriage will not only last longer but become stronger.
Sooooo  "IF" the rumors are true, then more power to sista woman, Katy Perry. Obviously she loves her husband and wants to work at it or be proactive in the marriage, which all people who have been married, know it’s not an easy journey whether you’re in Hollywood or NOT!